AmeriStage Players

                  Presents:

A Six Pack of One Acts

A play festival featuring local playwrights

October 3 & 4

The Stone Cottage by WaterTower Theatre

15650 Addison Road

Addison, Texas  75001

Tickets available at the door for $5

Cash or check only.

October 3 at 3PM & October 4 at 7PM

The Couch Written by Carol M. Rice, Directed by Rick Dalton

Five Minutes of Silence Written and Directed by Zoë Schommer

The Bob Manus School of Acting Written by Jeffery Swan Jones, Directed by Cliff Stephens

October 3 at 7PM & October 4 at 3PM

Futilitarian Hell Written by Molly Moroney, Directed by Ellen Locy

Happily Manipulated Written and Directed by Elizabeth Pruitt Fenter

Noah in My Bedroom Written by Gary Swaim, Directed by Fritz Ketchum

For further questions please e-mail ameristageplayers@hotmail.com

Morphine drips are automatic, to avoid abuse.  $300 vacuums run on their own.  I bet that those get used more than the “old fashioned” ones.  There’s even a robotic mopping system.  That would be pretty cool, although I already have one of those- Reno.  Air fresheners that without a second thought bring vanilla lavender cotton cucumber melon freshness every ten seconds.  Ovens clean themselves while you sleep.  Timed lights that automatically come on at night and go off in the morning.  Automatic coffee brewed a six o’ two AM, right after the alarm goes off, automatically.  Automatic recording of your favorite shows on a DVR so you can fast forward and rewind at your will.  Automatic withdrawals for bills and direct deposits into your bank account.  Grills automatically ignite.  Baby soothers that sing and vibrate, automatically shutting themselves off so as to not drain the batteries which do not automatically recharge.

With all of this automation, why is there no time?  Dishes washed in a machine, doors locked by a button, even my fan has a remote.  With all of these conveniences and us doing less by hand, why does it feel like we’re doing even more?    If only my school work was done automatically!  Or babies could be patted to sleep automatically!  I finally had a full seven hours in a row of sleeping baby.  Automatically going to sleep at 10PM is the biggest luxury of them all!

I don’t get up when I need to in the mornings, nor do I go to bed early.  I need to get up despite how rough of a night we’ve had.  I need to write every day.  I need to be honest with myself and others no matter how I think others will feel or what they’ll think.  If I have a problem, I need to address it and not hope it goes away.  I usually forget what my problem was in the first place.  I need to quit being a puss.  

One thing I’ve learned from my last required bullshit class (turns out it wasn’t a bullshit class!) is that I can’t let life interfere with my “art.”  I’m no artist, but hopefully one day I will be able to make a living by writing.  I must write to be a writer.  I’m writing…I need to be more child like.  Children are passionate and not afraid of failure or trying something new.  Children are also brutally honest.  

I need to be honest when there’s conflict. Jeff is the only person that I am not afraid to say what I think and feel.  I’m not afraid of hurting his feelings.  There is such a trust and love there that I need to tell him exactly what is on my mind.  Sure, I try not to be hateful and say things in the most loving way, but I am completely honest with him.  I can’t say that about anyone else.  I am mostly honest with my mom.  There are some things I hold back so that I avoid conflict, but I’m mostly not afraid of the truth with her and Bob.  I’m honest with my kids, but try to keep certain truths age appropriate.  

Okay, there’s a few things I need to work on.  Oh yeah, I need to floss more and take my vitamins and watch what I eat.  I need to be my best.  I can put away my clean clothes as soon as they are folded.  Jeff’s nice enough to do the laundry.  I should put it up and not let it pile up.  I need to write.  A writer writes.  I’m writing.  

What do you think about this poem?  I’m a crappy poet, but am working on the craft.  Here it goes, I’m putting myself out there for honest criticism.  I got my feelings hurt when I got a low score, but I am a writer working on her craft.  Here’s me being crafty!  This is a villanelle style poem, which is why two of the lines repeat:

Dreaming of the Way Things Were

I shut my eyes wishing for sleep

Trying not to listen for muffled breaths

I have never counted so many sheep

Hours dive into pool of night, deep

Drowning and suffocating our sanity


I shut my eyes wishing for sleep

Half awake, from his room I creep


Finally falling into dreamland’s depths

I have never counted so many sheep

From my blissful reprieve I leap

Maybe a nap, later, to refresh

I shut my eyes wishing for sleep

Isn’t it your turn, I dare think

My staying home you didn’t appose

I have never counted so many sheep

Daylight through my blinds seep

Precious bundle only needs to be close

I shut my eyes wishing for sleep

I have never counted so many sheep

I am not gaining much weight and was actually told that it looked like I’ve lost weight, except for my belly.  I have given up my loaded potato bites and all fried food.  I’ve worked really hard to eat lots of protein and fiber and limit my sugar.  I’ve lost six pounds and feel great.  My midwife is really excited that I’ve changed my diet.

Baby Fenter is very active, unless someone is around that wants to see some action!  His feet touch my ribs, but he is much lower than Sydney was.  Sydney stuck her foot between my ribs and would hang.  I’m glad that this baby isn’t doing that!  He does use my bladder as a trampoline.  

Everything is going well and I am on the road to recovery.  Other than Jeff’s and my snore-off at night, we are both finally able to sleep through the night.  Neither one of us were big snorers before Baby Fenter, but we take turns waking each other up with the raising of the roof.  One more pregnancy symptom that makes me feel so sexy.  Oh yeah!  At least there’s no hemorrhoids or varicose veins!  I’m also not nearly as sick as I had been.  Oh, I did indulge in Hooters for the Super Bowl and was SICK the next day!  I guess I’m not meant to eat fried food.  My shrinking love handles do thank me for my diet change!

Baby Fenter is moving like crazy!  I am still sleeping okay, but he lets me know if he doesn’t like how I’m positioned.  I am able to eat anything these days and especially love milkshakes and Loaded Potato Bites, as you know.  Tums are a huge life saver and even help me when I am nauseous in the mornings.  I’m going to have to remember that for next time.  Yes, I did say next time.

Jeff has finally figured out to just get me a milkshake when I say that I NEED one and even makes sure to know what flavor.  He is a quick study.  That, and I am not as patient and don’t bite my tongue like I normally do.  Lately, if I think it, I say it.  That can be ugly since my emotions are so elevated.  I am trying not to say those things immediately, but my mom and Jeff know exactly how I feel about everyone, everything, at every moment.  I don’t really dislike anyone, it’s just small annoyances are HUGE to me right now.  No, I do not have specific details that I need to share.  I’d hate to hurt someone’s feelings because of my elevated sensitivity.  Yes, I take everything personally!  

Today, I feel more like my patient and loving self.  I am not a hater today.  It is nice to just be and not be burdened with irrational grudges.  Phew…breathe…remember it is Christmas time.  It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  I shouldn’t let my hormones ruin that!  Here’s to milkshakes and Loaded Potato Bites getting me through the holidays.  Please do not tell me that you’re going to tell the mid wife or that I need to walk more.  I need a little peace and I find it in fattening milky dessert drinks and deep fried potatoes loaded with cheese and bacon.  Yum…

Baby Fenter is moving all the time.  Sydney and Jeff have both felt him (or her!)  I am trying to curb my cravings for Arby’s Loaded Potato Bites and eat fruits and vegetables through out the day so I don’t get hungry (and tempted.)  I would really love some Loaded Potato Bites and a Jamocha shake right now.  Yum.  I have eaten baby carrots, grapes, two bananas and an apple today.  I might sneak out and get some good stuff!  I’m not going to ask Jeff, he’ll probably come home with some cheese sticks and a cookies and cream shake saying, “well these are your favorites, why are you mad?”  Poor Jeff, his heart is in the right place.

OK:  Top Ten Things Any Pregnant Woman Doesn’t Want to Hear

10.)  Are you really going to eat that?

9.) You have how many more months?  Wow.

8.)  You’re cute when you waddle.

7.)  I’m going to tell the midwife (or doctor)…

6.)  Should you be eating that?

5.)  Should you be doing that?

4.)  I don’t have time to stop and get you a milkshake.

3.)  Wow, you look like your old self from behind.

2.)  That shirt makes you look huge!

1.)  You look like a Weeble Wobble when you sit like that.

See you tomorrow!  And yes, most of those are based on personal experience, unfortunately!

10.) Plasma HD TV.  Even watching football is really cool in HD.  Who am I kidding, I’d watch football on a 13″ black and white.  It is amazing to see each blade of grass and drop of sweat.  Gray’s Anatomy is cool in HD, too.  McDreamy is nice to watch in a 42″ HD splendor.

9.) iPod Touch.  E-mail, internet, music, games, podcasts all in the palm of my hand.  The internet is a little more user friendly on this iPod than a tiny phone screen.

8.) George Forman Grill with removable plates.  It is easier to clean, enough said!

7.)  Cordless Headphones.  I am going to bed earlier these days, but still want Jeff in the same room.  I usually sleep through anything, but not right now.  Cordless headphones give him great sound and me peace and quiet.  Plus, they can be used on an iPod or anything else you would use headphones for.  

6.)  Downy Wrinkle Releaser.  I don’t do laundry and now that I don’t have to, I don’t iron.  Downy Wrinkle Releaser saves me from getting out the ironing board, waiting on the iron, filling it with water, emptying it, letting it cool, putting it all away.  Yuck!

5.) Podcasts.  These are genius.  I can plug into iTunes at work and anything that I want to learn about or am interested in or want to be entertained by is at the tip of my finger.  I LOVE podcasts and wish I knew about them earlier.  I am working on my own…more to come!

4.) Garman.  I am not sure how I managed without my navigation system.  It helps me when I’m hungry to find something to eat or the nearest gas station, too.  Genius!

3.) DVR.  How can you be a parent without being able to pause live TV or tape something to watch after the kids are asleep?

2.) MacBook.  It is light, fast, I can not say enough about Apple products.  It makes the novice feel like a tech geek.  I hardly go       anywhere without my MacBook.  I’m in love, again!

1.) Cell Phone with e-mail.  I can not be disconnected from the world.  My cell phone has text, cell phone, camera, navigation (great if you need to find a place to eat nearby or a particular store!), e-mail and internet capabilities.  Plus, I am always connected no matter if there is WI-FI available or not, unlike with my MacBook and iPod.  I am deeply in love.

I look like a have had a soccer ball implanted in my stomach.  I am definitely not just fat.  I think some of my co-workers thought I had let myself go after getting married.  Ha!  Truth is, until just a few weeks ago, I ate less than I did pre-pregnancy.  My stomach is finally kind of cooperating and I have a much more substantial appetite.

So Jeff and I got into the fight of all fights over a milkshake.  Poor Jeff!  He was on his way home from an audition and mentioned that he was having difficulty drinking his milkshake.  His mentioning of a milkshake sent me into a desperate milkshake need.  I described how Arby’s has the best Jamocha shake, Chic-Fil-A and Jack-in-the-Box have awesome cookies and cream milkshakes and that I could not go on living with out one.  I did not have time to pick one up on my way home since I was meeting my sister-in-law to pick up Sydney at my house.

Jeff brought me home some peanut butter cup ice cream.  I asked if he could make me a milkshake while I was working on my final paper that was due in just a few hours.  He offered to put it in a bowl.  I went and made the most god-awful shake.  It was watery, rather milky, and the peanut butter cup chunks didn’t fit through the straw.  It was upsetting and made me cry.  He got upset and his feeling hurt since he was nice enough to bring home ice cream.  I was upset because even Christmas carols make me cry these days.

Well, he left to get me a milkshake.  He brought me a mint chocolate chip shake from Braums.  I had told him that I already made one and didn’t need another, before he left.  It was really hard to be greatful when I had given a full monolog about Jamocha and cookies and cream shakes and how that’s what I wanted more than anything on earth.  Mint chocolate chip.  Usually, not a bad choice, but for someone pregnant and trying to meet a deadline, it takes more than good intentions.

I know I am really picky and needy right now.  I have more food aversions than I do cravings.  You would think that the person who usually knows me better than I know myself would listen to the blantent clues and get me what I really wanted!  I am so lucky that he was willing to go out, even though he was pissed.  The ice cream was a really thoughtful jester.  Now there’s a huge mint chocolate chip milkshake and a carton of peanut butter ice cream in my freezer, barely touched.  Do you think he’ll be mad when I ask him to stop for a shake on the way to his sister’s tonight?

Okay, that’s enough complaining!  I am feeling the baby on a daily basis.  I think I can feel him with my hand on the outside of my belly, but I can never get Jeff to feel it.  I am not sure if the baby is being stubborn or if I am just feeling the kicks internally.  I can’t wait for him to feel the baby!!  I can’t wait for Sydney to feel the baby!

So, I do have two funny stories for this week.  The first one is a Sydneyism.  I was taking her to her new pediatrician for a very over due check up.  A mother and son were getting on the elevator and Sydney hurried in to hold the elevator door for me and said, “hold on, pregnant woman coming through!!”  Nice.  

The second is funny now.  On Saturday, I wanted a Sydney/Mommy Day since it has been so hectic with school and work.  We got ready and headed toward the Galleria Mall.  I was starving and wanted a sit down meal.  We finally found something that sounded good to both of us, Gloria’s.  We sit down, order drinks, eat some chips and hot sauce, order, life is good.  It then occurred to me that I had left my wallet in my bedroom.  I was about twenty minutes from my house!!  I was so embarrassed and was a little irritated that the manager wouldn’t take a check when I explained my situation.  I had planned on going back and getting my food to go, but I was so irritated and didn’t want to eat my cold food in my car.  I understand why a restaurant won’t take a check, but it was less than $20 and I had a young child with me and was obviously pregnant and slightly absentminded.  Oh well.  Mi Cocina was a great second choice.  Their tea and salsa was better, anyway.

Ok, so Jeff and I decided to do some errands and get my hour of walking in for the day.  We were walking around a shopping center and stopped at Petsmart or PetCo or some huge pet store–hormones also make me forgetful and VERY scatterbrained!  We do not have time for a new pet with me going to school, pregnant, Jeff’s acting taking off, and the various extra curricular activities in which my seven year old, Sydney, participates.  Plus, Reno Beano, our black mini wiener psycho dog, likes to be the center of attention.  Anyway, they were having an adoption drive for over a dozen cats and I lost it.  

Poor Jeff, in the last few days I’ve cried over cats (did I mention I’m allergic?), a news story about Paul Newman’s charity camp, the economy, WaMu failing, the movie Knocked Up, a card that he gave me, and I’m sure various commercials.  I’ve quit wearing eye makeup!  He is still quite confused about my increased sensitivity.  He is slowly catching on, but fortunately he wasn’t a sucker for tears when it came to getting a cat.  That would be a disaster!

There’s other emotions, too, but right now only the absurd crying comes to mind.  I have had some valid reason for tears.  It has been a year since Dad died.  His friend brought over some personal items that I hadn’t seen in years and that was hard to see.  I was so numb when he died that I didn’t really deal with it.  I think I have finally dealt!  

Some really exciting news is that I can already feel the baby.  It is usually after I sneeze.  I think it startles him (or her but I have a feeling it’s a boy.)  That is really cool and I can’t wait to share it with Jeff and Sydney.  I’m surprised that hasn’t made me cry!